It's been a little over two months since the last post, and I don't feel like catching up with all the stuff I forgot to write about, so I'll just start with the here and now!
I am tired.... Tired of planning, tired of sucking, tired of not sleeping, tired of being a full time teacher and full time student, tired of not making a difference.
The disillusionment is setting in. This quarter has not started off well. We began doing AIMS review packets, and some of my kids could not care less. They put zero effort into their weekly packets, and their grades reflect that. They don't even care about that! Who the heck taught these children it was OK to fail???
It's so sad to see that these students have had such low expectations their whole lives. They don't mind the fact that they are failing because they've never been told they can do better! THey are just "low" students, and that's all they'll ever be. It's so frustrating. Not only am I fighting years of poor instruction, I'm fighting years of damaging stereotypes. I don't know which one is harder to combat.
I'm hitting a low point. As a result, I am putting less effort into my lessons. They're going to fail anyway, right? :(
Other things are going on in my life, non-teaching related that are just draining. I feel a little lost right now. Even though I'm in a completely different situation, I find myself feeling some of the same things I felt in Denver. I'm just existing right now. And I hate how it feels.
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