AND, I'm already behind...

Ok, so it's bad enough i didn't start on NOVEMBER 1st, and already had some catching up to do.  But now, life gets busy (as it tends to do...) and now I have THREE MORE days to catch up.  So I'm going to list as many as I can, and we'll see where I end up!

1)  i am grateful that I had the means to make my latest purchase... a Wii!  It has been loads of fun to play with, and should provide me with a nice break from all the seriousness that comes with life.  At least, for a little bit anyway!

2) I am grateful for the TV show Gossip Girl.  It provides me a fun glimpse into a life I will never be privy too, and allows me to live in fantasy land, even if it's just for an hour.  It is like a mini vacation, and I enjoy every second of it :)

3) I am grateful for Hob Nob.  Last year Lux was the "it" spot, but it was such a hassle sometimes (too far away, not place to sit, no real food to eat, etc.)  Hob Nob combines the best of Lux (and none of the bad) with an awesome, homey atmosphere.  I am grateful that I now feel like I have a refuge, a place to go when I need to work.  And though I haven't tried it yet, it could be a place I go when I just need to be alone.

4) I am grateful for my boyfriend.  It took me a few "gratefuls" to get down to him, because I want to make sure I word it just right.  It's not that I'm grateful that I have a boyfriend.  And it's not even that I'm grateful for all the things he does for me (though I certainly am).  It's bigger than that.  I'm grateful that I have Scott.  Scott and all of his wonderful, kind, generous, caring, hopeful -ness.  Even though I am screwed up right now, he is my solid anchor in this mess.  It's nice.

5) I am grateful for my new haircut!  I have side bangs, and they look WAY cuter than my last adventure in bangs-land.  :)

6) I am grateful that I was able to find a suitable dress for the upcoming Vegas trip for Roby's birthday!  After a saddening 6 attempts at trying on dresses (and, clearly, no luck), I definitely found a winner!

7) I am grateful for Shon Zelman.  He is such an amazing mentor and role model, and because of him, my kids will have an AMAZING introduction to numerical values.  It's truly all because of him.

8)  I am grateful for Orange Juice.  So tasty, so nutritional, so fresh.  Makes me happy just drinking it, and it puts a smile on my face.

9)  I am grateful for Sunday afternoons.  Lazy Sunday afternoons.  Ones where you've already been productive, and don't feel guilty for lounging, or cleaning, or taking care of you for a change.  Love those!

Phew.  Now I'm caught up.  Except for those first four days.... yikes!

Separate Spheres

A second idea, separate from Gratitude:

I've decided to separate my life into spheres, and try my best to keep those sections separate.

Last week I found myself at a whole new, unprecedented level of GRUMP. And I couldn't snap out of it, no matter how hard I tried. Then I realized, I was taking all my frustrations at ASU, school, life, friends, etc., and taking them out on the wrong people/things. I can no longer take out my feelings about ASU on my students. I can't keep bringing my anger about my classroom into my life.

So. I am a student. That is one sphere. I am a teacher, and have a classroom. There's another. I am in a relationship, so that is a third. And I have a life with friends... my fourth. I guess three and four can mix a little, but it's important to remember that they are, in fact, separate.

Finally, there is a fifth section: myself. I need to make time to be alone with just myself, just my thoughts, to take care of me and do things that I like. Read a book, go to the park, get a massage, watch Grey's Anatomy, whatever it is that makes me happy. This one might be the hardest of all to nurture...

So it's on. I need to do something every day to try to take care of these spheres, but above all, I need to keep them separate. I think this is going to help...

Gratitude Challenge

Haha, here we are in November. Again.

This November I am joining a small group of fellow TFAers and participating in the Gratitude Challenge. Every day for the month, you have to name 3 things that you are grateful for. 3 DIFFERENT things, no repeats. As today was a kind of tough day, it seems like a great time to start!

1. I am grateful for my dog, Sadie. She is a happy face and wagging tail to come home wo, a snuggly bundle of fur to cuddle with, and all she needs to stay happy is a ball, laser pointer, a hand to be petted by or a lake to swim in. She is adorable. And I am so grateful I have her in my life.

2. I am grateful that I am far from home. I love my dad, but sometimes I think that I would go legitimately crazy if I was daily involved in the things that are going on there. Maybe that's a selfish thing. But I'm still grateful nonetheless that I do not still live there.

3. I am grateful for (you ready for this) my colorful pack of markers. Seriously. They make me feel like I have a choice, and in my life right now, the freedom to choose anything I do is valuable. My Thursdays are not my own. Neither are most of my Saturdays, Sundays, Fridays or Tuesdays. I don't have the choice to take sick days, go on vacation, etc. But, I can choose what color I feel like writing in, dammit. And I have 15 different choices.

I'll start with that. At least this should keep me blogging!! :)

Oh, and I guess I'll go public with this blog now, to keep me accountable. Don't mind the rest of my entries, nothing important!

I'm getting better!

Look, less than a month since the last post! Woo hoo!

So, still stuck in Summer School HADES, but at least this is the last week. Then, two weeks of worthless training, and school starts for the year! Summer flew by, had it's ups and downs, but after a refreshing weekend of doing nothing at all, I feel a bit more rested (except for the fact that I caught a NASTY head cold.. that bater was not refreshing, nor did it help me feel rested!).

We are moving this week! So excited! Roby gets back to Phoenix on Thursday, and we start moving that day! I am NOT looking forward to moving in 110 degree heat (HOPEFULLY it's that "cool"), but I am so excited to get out of an apartment and into a house. Apartments are nice, but nothing compares to having a HOME!! With a backyard. And misters that cool down your beer pong area :)

However, with moving out comes the inevitable hassle of PACKING UP! Let's see how much stuff I can get rid of during this move! It's kind of nice, the "cleansing" that comes with it. Hopefully I can eliminate a lot of junk from my collection, and start fresh in the new place.

Still, I foresee a lot of trips to IKEA (I know I know, but it's cheap and easy and I'm poor and tired...) :)

So much to catch up on, it's almost not worth it.  So, we will start fresh from here.  I'm stuck in class, teaching summer school, and even though I'm putting little effort into it, it's still in no way, shape, or form a "break" for the summer.  Damn the Roosevelt School District for making this necessary!

On the bright side, last night I bought my ticket to Denver!  The GABF is going on, and I want to be there!  Hotel is right downtown, but we have  car to drive around anyways.  I am so excited to plan out the trip!  

Nothing too exciting to write now, just very BORED.  Kids are currently finding synonyms for "boring" words.  This means playtime on the computer for Ms. Campos!!  I swear, I am a much better teacher during the school year than this :)

I am so bad at blogging...

But practice makes perfect!

It's been a little over two months since the last post, and I don't feel like catching up with all the stuff I forgot to write about, so I'll just start with the here and now!

I am tired....  Tired of planning, tired of sucking, tired of not sleeping, tired of being a full time teacher and full time student, tired of not making a difference.  

The disillusionment is setting in.  This quarter has not started off well.  We began doing AIMS review packets, and some of my kids could not care less.  They put zero effort into their weekly packets, and their grades reflect that.  They don't even care about that!  Who the heck taught these children it was OK to fail???   

It's so sad to see that these students have had such low expectations their whole lives.  They don't mind the fact that they are failing because they've never been told they can do better!  THey are just "low" students, and that's all they'll ever be.  It's so frustrating.  Not only am I fighting years of poor instruction, I'm fighting years of damaging stereotypes.  I don't know which one is harder to combat.  

I'm hitting a low point.  As a result, I am putting less effort into my lessons.  They're going to fail anyway, right?  :(

Other things are going on in my life, non-teaching related that are just draining.  I feel a little lost right now.  Even though I'm in a completely different situation, I find myself feeling some of the same things I felt in Denver.  I'm just existing right now.  And I hate how it feels.

T-Day! :)

Haha, wow! Amazing what a difference 7 months can make! I completely forgot about this blog... Then a friend of mine started one up, and I was reminded that it existed! Kind of funny... I guess the day after I created it, well, it kind of changed my life as I know it!

Over the past 7 months, 6 of them have been in Phoenix, AZ. My life resembles NOTHING of that I left behind in Denver, which I feel both good and bad about. I am teaching 6th grade at Rose Linda Elementary, a school located in what I recently found out was the poorest zip code in all of Phoenix. I'm also, simultaneously going to school to get my masters. That part kind of sucks, but the teaching part, well, that's totally for me :)

I'm in a new city with a new job, new friends, and new priorities. My days are full of teaching little ones, then I head home to hours more work (planning, grades, etc.) It's exhausting, to say the least. I try to have fun by cooking meals with friends, watching TV shows on the internet (I'm not as big of a loser as you think!!), and playing with Sadie. I wish I could say I go out, but really, it dosen't happen often. I'm either too tired or am sick. That's been happening a lot lately, due to a lack of sleep :(

Today was Thanksgiving. It was spent at the home of a couple that is a large TFA donor. They had 11 of us over for a lovely meal. Unfortunately, I was sick, and got SUPER sick during the meal. Just sinuses, but I pretty much felt like passing out for the last three hours of the gathering :( However, the couple was incredibly sweet, and their house was GORGEOUS! It was nice to be in a home for the holidays! The rest of the day was spent in bed or sleeping on the couch. Sadie is going stir crazy... But her mom is a little out of commission. I'm about to head back to bed so I can get up early... Black Friday shopping!!

In other news, my laptop has not been able to handle the INTENSE amount of usage it has gotten in the last half-a-year. So, I am buying a MAC!!! SCARY!! However, I refuse to buy Vista, so it's really my only option. I'm excited for the laptop, but NOT excited for the $$ it's going to cost me... yikes!

Nothing else really to report. I'm doing well (other than being sick a lot). My kids are adorable, and they're doing really well! I've been focusing a lot on my "yellows" (the kids who are in the middle, greens are good to go and pinks are far below where they should be). I'm proud to report I bumped up two more into the green category! Now I just have TWO STUDENTS LEFT IN THE YELLOW!!!! We don't need to talk about the 8 in the pink right now....I figure once I have a solid 2/3 of my class in the "safe zone", I can start focusing on this last group who's lagging quite far behind. It's draining, knowing that each day I wait, they fall further behind, but it's just not feasible to work with them on their level yet, not til I get the rest of the class up to grade level :( My ASU grad classes are ridiculous. Not very applicable to what I'm doing in my classroom, but that's ok. Someday I'm sure they'll come in handy. There's also been quite a bit of drama between my school district and TFA, but that's too much to type out right now. I've managed to stay out of it because my principal and school are AWESOME, but the adminsitration at District is... well, it's easy to see why no one wants to teach there. Well, that and the fact that school district is one of the worst in the country. :)

Take care, I hope that everyone had an amazing Thanksgiving!